"This too shall pass": the power of positivity.

As some of you may know, my fortune in the health department over the past month or so has been, well, unhealthy. Due to my inability to do anything active and my complete lack of hobbies that aren't sports, I spent an unnerving amount of time inside my head. In this seeming eternity, I discovered a few things about a few things.

First, it is absolutely impossible to do completely nothing and keep your mind blank... and can someone please explain this to my doctor? It CANNOT BE DONE.

Secondly, it is absolutely impossible to be positive all of the time. Even if you are the kind of person who eats rainbows and sunshine for breakfast.

Lastly, you cannot even attempt to be positive without a little help. This, my friends, is where your friends come in. Your support network. What is that? You might ask. It is comprised of the people who are there to believe in you when you can't believe in yourself.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." - Bernard Meltzer

 These people are your "phone a friend" lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: Life Edition. Don't worry, I'm not going to rhyme off a bunch of stupid clichés about friendship (except the quote that I just rhymed off... and the one right before that).

The moral of the story is that sometimes life makes you eat a big sh*t sandwich, maybe even several of them. Sometimes life's bad, AND it sucks. On those days, above all, lean on the people who are either going to a) tell you to stop being a baby and change out of the big underpants that you've worn for 5 days, b) split the sh*t sandwich in half and help you eat it, or c) sit in the life ER with you after you've eaten the sh*t sandwich and wait by your side until you've been seen by the doctor.

For example, an awesome note from Dad last week.

With this, I encourage everyone to think about a few things ... Who is on your "phone a friend" list? Do they know that they are? If not, let them know. It will make their day AND it will prepare them for the inevitable shi*t burger that they'll have to eat with you at some point down the road. Who's list are you on? If you aren't sure, are there a few people that you should reach out to and say, "HEY, when the golden arches of life hand you a McSh*t, I'll share it with you"? 

Take a moment inside your head and do a few loads of life laundry. In the long run, it will pay off for you and for the people you love.

Mo' mo's, mo' problems?: not this time, P. Diddy.

So here's the thing about November. Aside from the fact that the 'N' has been changed to an 'M', dudes all around us are trying to look like Ron Swanson and, well, failing miserably.

BUT, aside from the constant crap that I give my BF about his stringy soup strainer, I must say that I'm intrigued by this entire phenomenon ... It got me to thinking (and channelling my inner P. Diddy), do mo' mo's mean mo' problems?

PS Check out their sweet mo's!

What I'm trying to say is, Movember is an absolutely wicked concept. Guys, who historically don't do a lot of active fundraising (no offense to all the "Ron"nabee's out there .. get it? Wannabe?), are working their asses off to raise money for an incredible cause. But, there's always another side of the coin - are people just growing 'staches because everyone else is? Because it's cool to look like a teen sex offender? Now, the tiny little cynic inside of me initially thought that this excitement of trying to grow a cool mo' would overshadow the real reason behind Movember. Luckily, that little cynic was recently knocked the eff out by my inner moustachio after witnessing all of the incredible sharing, comraderie and overall CARE that dudes have been exhibiting this month.

So, I say to you P. Diddy (and Ma$e, but who remembers him anyways?) ... this time, Mo' mo's mean less problems. We are lighting a dirty-duster fire on the upper lips of the dudes of our generation, which is not an easy task, since it has always been "cool to be dumb" and say "Whatever" as often as possible. So let's jump on this stubbly wave and ride it as long as we can.

Which leads me to my point of the week: I am sincerely thrilled to be exactly where I am at this moment - we should all be. Not only can we be part of the amazing Movember fundraising campaign that is igniting our inner Tom Selleck, but we are also alive in a time where simply telling our razors that we want to see other people can move mountains.

So, to the guys out there ... THANK YOU, for taking part in this wonderful campaign and being okay with girls cringing at the sight of your upper lip. And, to everyone - be proud of what this month has accomplished and keep doing whatever you can to support your loved ones, friends and community as a whole ... Mo' mo's? Yes please.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Concussion day 11: why you shouldn't be a leader while concussed.

In the past 11 days, this is what I have learned.

Ponytails hurt. I am really good at making soup when I'm bored. I'm shockingly capable of sleeping all of the time. And last, but certainly not least, you really should not be a leader when you have a concussion ...

Here is why.

It is very difficult to keep track of your belongings. As a leader, being organized is always helpful. Particularly when you need to keep track of people, things and thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to remember to go pick something up from the bank that is literally 100 metres from my apartment ... Mission: Impossible.

It is very difficult not to cry at all times. Seriously, my eyes feel like a water fountain in the desert: overused. I cannot STOP them from excreting tear drops. As a leader, emotional management is paramount, particularly in moments of uncertainty and stress. For example, when your lovely boyfriend offers to drive the car so that you don't have to, it is not appropriate to start bawling as if he just bought you a puppy, let you fall in love with it, then ripped it out of your hands and gave it away to someone who doesn't even like dogs.

It is very difficult to do anything useful when you are by yourself all of the time. As the transformational leadership theory notes, both leaders and followers advance each other to higher levels of effectiveness, motivation, morale, etc. This could not be more true. It is so important to surround yourself with people who can make you better. While sitting alone in my apartment cave, I have been outrageously unproductive ... aside from the vats of soup that are in my freezer. Without the energy of others, I have done a fraction of what I am capable of on any given day.

All in all, many leadership lessons can be learned through boredom, injury and just plain bad luck. And, as always, I like to look at life events through a leadership lens to help gain perspective. So, I encourage you to do the same - especially those of you whose brains are not bruised ... I'm sure you'll come up with what I did and then some. Also, I must warn you: if this concussion goes on much longer, there is a strong possibility that I might go bananas, buy a lot of cats and start collecting porcelain clowns ... I guess time will tell. Kidding. Or am I?

"Find beauty in the ordinary and you'll find joy in unexpected places."

Concussed: ramblings from a bruised brain.

On Saturday, I got a concussion and it rocked me ... literally. Where did I put my water bottle? I had to go to the hospital (BLEH) and, sadly, we didn't see any hilariously-drunken-slutty pumpkins with broken toe nails in the ER. So, now that my week has gotten off to a very slow and painful start, below are the ramblings of my bruised brain and yes, this is the best I can come up with. Has anyone seen my scarf?

In my concussed state, I have realized that compassion and empathy are very powerful. Even the little 10 year olds that I coach have been absolutely wonderful with me, which leads me to thank their parents for modelling compassion and understanding to them at such a young age - they're going to go far because of it.

Wallet... check. Phone... check. Keys... DAMNIT.

In addition, I have also realized that I take my brain for granted. So, we shouldn't do that. Be thankful for the powerful machine that you have up in your noggin and keep it safe. It is incredible what a little shake-up can do to your ability to process information ... seriously, where the hell is my water bottle?

I have also realized that driving takes a lot more focus that I previously thought. My road rage is at an all-time high and Hurricane Sandy is not helping anything... which navigates me to my next point: we should never underestimate the power of things that we cannot control. It's humbling and terrifying all at the same time. Head nod to Mother Nature... I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. Also, I think someone stole my scarf.

And lastly, a comment re: Halloween. It's awesome to see how excited people get about it... no matter how young or how old. So I say "way to go Halloween!" for re-igniting the child within all of us, letting us eat candy without (a lot of) guilt, and giving us a great reason to strike up conversations with strangers dressed like pirates. I'm so thirsty.

Alrighty, there you have it. My brain is bruised. Talk soon, hopefully when I've regenerated a considerably larger number of brain cells.

Ignite Waterloo: losing control to gain control?

On Tuesday, I participated in an event called Ignite Waterloo, where you have to do a 5 minute speech that involves 20 slides timed for exactly 15 seconds each ... that you can't control.

At the beginning, when I was accepted to speak, I thought that my only problem would be figuring out how to speak for ONLY 5 minutes ... as we all know, I have trouble shutting up at the best of times. But, as I began preparing my speech about childhood wisdom, I realized that the problem wasn't what to say, when to say it or how to say it ... the problem was that I COULDN'T CLICK THE SLIDES MYSELF. It drove me absolutely bananas.

Then, it hit me ... I have serious control issues, that I will blame/thank(?) my father for. For example, during a massage (which, in theory, should be relaxing), my RMT said to me, "You know that you resist me a lot, right? Could you maybe just try to relax?"... then I heard the flush of my $90 going down the toilet. I can't even give control over my back muscles to a REGISTERED PROFESSIONAL for a mere 60 minutes. As my Mom says, I am my father's daughter (context: my Dad doesn't let any of us hold our passports when we go on vacation. My brother is 27 and I am 24 and my mother is well, a mother ... starting to make sense now? Thought so.).

I digress, in a lot of leadership situations, the need for control is an asset. But, as I learned over my past few weeks of presentation prep-induced anxiety, in some situations it can be a colossal hindrance.

So, this leads me to my revelation of the week. Having "control issues" is not a crutch to lean on. It is something that we can use to our advantage in order to regain control of an often overlooked area of leadership: ourselves. Sometimes, to regain control of ourselves as leaders we need to relinquish our control over everything else. As I worked on perfecting my speech to go along with timing that was out of my reach I realized that, without having control over the situation, the only person I could control was myself. Moreover, through relinquishing my situational stronghold, I had the ability to focus solely on my performance and be the best version of ME that I could be in that moment.

Talk about an A! HA!

So this week, my challenge is to relinquish your control and focus on yourself. Let someone else take the reins and see how you adapt. BUT please, don't go all "Jesus, take the wheel" on me ... I can assure you that Carrie Underwood is full of crap. Not only will you surprise yourself with your ability to - very agonizingly, in my case - relinquish control, but you will also surprise yourself with the things that you can learn along the way.

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu

P.S. If you want to see my speech ... here it is!

Sharing is caring: you are what you tweet

For those of you who know me, you won't often see me updating my Facebook status to something laden with sarcasm and political opinions. Well, maybe the sarcasm part. But, I don't really fancy myself as someone who is a politics-buff in any way shape or form.

THAT being said, I do want to comment on what's been going on these past few weeks ... not regarding politics themselves, but mainly about my news feed and Twitter feed. I would like to mention the amazing intellectual and analytical ability that my fellow facebookians/tweeps have. It is truly incredible. Yes, my friends are all geniuses. But seriously, we need to give our generation some credit for being well-informed and actually INTERESTED in what is going on in this world ... I love it. So today, let's think about how we can use this potential to make change and create something meaningful that is bigger than just our social media musings.

Therefore, without further ado, I have come up with a few status updates of my own in response to what has been has been going on with the Presidential debates, as well as Dalton's abrupt resignation.

"Dear Generation,

Hey, it's me ... just wanted to say that you are incredibly eloquent when you put your mind to it. So, I say we focus on communicating with each other in the same intelligent way that we communicate our thoughts and jokes about how Mitt Romney's first name is Mitt. Let's avoid using the power of the internet for bullying and degrading ourselves willingly via photos, self-deprecating jabs and inappropriate comments. Instead, let's prove to everyone else that we, the soon-to-be leaders of this world, have valuable, relevant things to say that worth listening to.

Sincerely,
Let's make Ms Frizzle Proud"

"Talking about the #liberalparty with my intelligent peers! Our valid opinions will be sent to a local party representative repeatedly until we receive a response #takingaction"

We, as a generation, have an incredible amount of power. We have access to the entire world at the drop of a tweet. We can access news and information in such real-time that we know what's happening before the news stations do. Back in the day, when somebody wanted to send a message to thousands of people to get them behind a movement or a cause, they had to WALK and knock on doors to do so. We can now reach thousands in mere seconds through 140 characters and a catchy hashtag.

So today, I want us to think about the power that we have at our fingertips. Yes, continue sharing whatever you would like on FB and Twitter, I'll read it and I'll enjoy it. But also, share your passions, your aspirations and your desire for change. This is my call to action. We are all leaders merely because we have instantaneous access to a massive audience at any time of the day ... let's start using this power for good, for change. We can and we should ... because if we don't, no one will.

In the wonderful words of Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

Getting lost: navigating our stress-induced alter egos

Last weekend, I travelled to Boston with my wonderful family... in a car. Now, if you've never been to Boston you're probably thinking "Wow, lucky girl ... that sounds like it was full of rainbows and candycanes!" But, if you have ever been anywhere near Boston or listened to someone's colour commentary about their experience, you're probably thinking "Is Kath blogging from the grave? Is Long Island Medium writing this post for Kath?".

Well, friends ... don't worry, it's actually me ... not that wild Medium who's big blonde hair is definitely full of secrets.

BUT, it was a close call once we started getting lost.

So, after the epic screaming/crying/arguing match that my darling family had for approximately 45 straight minutes in our car in the middle of Boston, I got to thinking about why I turn into the female version of angry George Costanza when things get stressful. And, moreover, why we all experience a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde roller coaster of emotions in these situations.

Well, we all know that stress makes us do very weird things and act in ways that are often opposite to our regular selves. In order to combat this, I've thought up some ways to avoid turning into our bizzarro selves when faced with stress ...

1. Find your hot button (get your minds OUT OF THE GUTTER...you know what I mean). Take a step back from the situation and try to identify exactly what triggered your unfamiliar emotion. For example, the woman's voice (I call her B*#&HFACE) on the GPS machine is officially my kryptonite.

2. Try to decrease the impact of the aforementioned trigger. If it is a certain person that's aggravating you, gently try to decrease the impact on your emotions ... Luckily, when we were in Boston, I was able to mute the god damn GPS before I lit it on fire and threw it out the window.

3. It sounds cliche, but BREATHE. Just breathe. It is amazing how closely related our emotions are to our physiological state. By simply paying attention to our breathing, our heart rate slows and, as a result, we become more relaxed. Try to sit more comfortably, relax your shoulders, listen to your breathing.

4. Last, but certainly not least, check your attitude! As the old saying goes, "We cannot direct the wind, but we can always adjust our sails". Take a moment ... take stock of your perspective and try to find a different way to look at things. If I had just sat back and appreciated the fact that I was spending time with three of the most important people in my life, we would have shared a lot more laughs and a lot less "OH WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?"s.

So, as you go through the ridiculous ups and downs that life throws your way, remember your hot buttons (even the dirty ones - if your mind is still in the gutter), be action-oriented, take control of your physiological state and, most importantly, lose the tude and find a silver lining.
"If you don't like something, change it; If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." - Mary Engelbreit

The top ten BEST ways to lose your leadership credibility on homecoming weekend

Happy eve of homecoming eve everyone! In honour of homecoming (for many schools) this weekend, I would like to share my version of a David Letterman top ten (please picture me gap-toothed ... not very hard for those who knew me pre-braces ... as a pre-teen, you could've driven a truck through the space between my front teeth).

Now, as I know that most people will be indulging in a few sodas, let's talk about all of the things that we can do to lose our leadership credibility this weekend and, well, any time we are off the clock.

10. Be THAT guy. At any event - be it homecoming, the office holiday party, your nephew's bar mitzvah -there is always ONE guy that everyone talks about the next day. If you want to lose your leadership credibility, be THAT guy. Put the proverbial lampshade on your head. Break everything in sight. Do NOT hold back.

9. Be awful at small talk. Listen carefully ... this is essential if you want to kick your credibility to the ground. As you will be reuniting with a lot half-friends-half-acquaintances-half-people-you-don't-recognize-but-probably-made-out-with this weekend, make sure that you suck at small talk. Avoid being excited to see them, asking them about their life, or even better, pretend you don't remember them. This will definitely knock your credibility down a few notches. Do everything in your power to shave a few people off your network ... I mean seriously, networking is for idiots anyways... right?

8. Yell profanities. A sure-shot way to toss your reputation in the gutter is by having a potty mouth. The football game is a perfect location to let your terrible tongue loose ... particularly when yelling at the other team. Don't hold back, those varsity athletes who are probably fitter, smarter and better looking than you DEFINITELY deserve it.

7. Talk to as many university staff members as possible. If swearing like a sailor didn't do it, this definitely will. Make sure you've played an unreasonable amount of flip cup, then approach as many university staff members as you can find and tell them about all of your ideas to improve your alma mater ... starting with your GENIUS idea about replacing all classes with a school-wide, year-long beer pong tournament.

 6. Take your pants off.

5. Or, alternatively - Rip your pants right in the crotch area, and then keep them on.

4. Get stopped by campus police or, even better, regional police. Nothing says "I'm a tool and no one should ever hire me" like getting into it with an officer of the law. Extra points if you hit on them in the process.

3. Be the reason why people are chanting something disgusting. For example, "EAT-THE-POOP! EAT-THE-POOP". This one needs no explanation.

2. Misplace your shoes before noon.

And .... the number one BEST way to lose your credibility on homecoming weekend isssss...

1. Fall asleep in public. Extra deductions go to anyone who does so prior to sundown.

So there it is, the top ten ways to lose every ounce of dignity you have in a matter of 2 days. Please do not do any of these things this weekend and ... Please, for the sake of your future, think twice before you eat the poop.

Happy homecoming!

"It takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." - Warren Buffett

The Theories Series Vol 2: Doing dishes with the Leadership Challenge

Welcome back to the Theories Series (eries-eries-eries). Today we're going to tackle the Leadership Challenge, a 5-pronged leadership approach (the 5 practices of exemplary leadership) that is based on the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI). The LPI was compiled by this theory's creators, Kouzes and Posner, who surveyed a LOT of people and asked which were the top seven traits that they look for in a leader, admire in a leader, and ultimately, would follow a leader for.


Now, I could list these 5 practices, provide you with a powerpoint presentation and ask that you take notes and fill in the blanks ... but instead, like that awesome fourth grade supply teacher that let you watch Rudy for the whole class, I'm throwing out the lesson plan.

We are going to talk about dating. More specifically, about dating someone who is messy. Disclaimer: I am not a dating expert. Trust me. Please do not take any of this as dating advice.

Also, I apologize to the messy people out there but honestly ... why do you hate doing dishes so much?

I digress, today we are going to discuss how to get your counterpart to do the dishes ... inception style.

Step 1: LOVE doing the dishes. Now, this may seem counter-intuitive, but the most important first step in getting down to the dream within a dream within a dream within a dream level is to Model the way. You need to do the hell out of those dishes. If you want your significant oth to do them right after dinner, do them right after dinner ... dance around, splash bubbles, make it like a Christina Aguilera video if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to show that you love doing the dishes (almost) more than you love your partner.

Step 2: Share the possibility of one day, living in a filth-free house ... say things like, "That's the world that, some day, we can live in." This step is called Inspire a shared vision. Now that you have shown how wonderful it is to do the dishes, you must share your vision and reasoning behind this love of an empty sink. The most important part of this step is to share the "whys" ... your dish-dirtying partner must understand WHY we should do the dishes soon after they are soiled, and it's got to mean something to them. For example, if they hate getting sick, explain why leaving crusty food in the sink spreads bacteria and makes us sick.

Step 3: This step is the trickiest. In this step, you need to give up some of your power ... don't worry, we can do this together, I have control issues and this step is very difficult for me too. You must Challenge the process. Ask your partner (nicely) if they have any suggestions about how to improve the dish-doing process... "Heyyy love-bug, do you think there's a way that we can do the dishes more efficiently? I would love to hear your suggestions... did I mention that your face is perfect and you smell like rain?" Try new things, don't be afraid to fail and always, always try them together.

Step 4:  Trying it as a team is the first stage of this next step ... Enable others to act. You must understand that, as a seasoned veteran of the dish-cleaning consortium, you are extremely good at it. Your partner may not be able to make doing the dishes look like an episode of 24 in fast-forward. Try doing the dishes together, teach them ways to do them more quickly, and then empower them to do dishes on their own. Build your partner's confidence, congratulate then when it's done well... challenge them! "Poo bear, why don't you hop up and do the dishes during this commercial break of 24? Wow, you totally look like a hotter version Jack Bauer up there at the sink!" etc. etc.

Step 5: This is the last and final step ... and arguably the most crucial one if you really want to bury the dish-doing desire in the deepest stores of your partner's dreams: Encourage the heart. Be sincere and caring (I'm sure you always are, so this is just a gentle reminder). Hide your filthy-sink frustrations and encourage them. Celebrate their successes and value their contributions to your vision of a world with clean, sparkling dishes drying on the dish rack.

So, there it is ... 5 steps to a dirty-dish-free kitchen, and the specifics of the Leadership Challenge theory. This belongs on Pinterest in the DIY section.

And, to change things up a bit ... hah ... here's a quote from the Leadership Challenge book (read it if you get a chance!),

“Leadership is a relationship between those who aspire *you* and those who choose to follow *your partner*… A leader-constituent relationship that’s characterized by fear and distrust will never, ever produce anything of lasting value. A relationship characterized by mutual respect and confidence will overcome the greatest adversities and leave a legacy [of clean dishes].” - The Leadership Challenge

The theories series volume 1: Situational leadership would you rather.

As previously announced via S Club 7 references (sidebar: S Club 7 is now following me on Twitter because of that last post... it's okay to be jealous), this week I am beginning the first volume of the Theories Series in order to make leadership theories make sense.

Volume 1: We will begin the series by talking about the ever-quoted Situational Leadership Theory. Originally "coined" by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard in the swingin seventies, the SLM dictates that there is no single "best" style of leadership. And thus, the most successful leaders are those who can adapt their style to the ever-changing environmental conditions that surround them. Furthermore, the theory rests on two fundamental concepts: leadership style and the "maturity level" of any given group/individual that is being led.

Now, at it's core, this theory seems quite simple. But, once we begin to unpack the different leadership styles and what a "maturity level" entails (no, unfortunately they are not talking about people who laugh hysterically at fart jokes vs. people who don't appreciate potty humour) things can become convoluted.

So instead of boring you all to tears with technical leadership babble and too many "et. al"s to count, we are going to play a game of Would You Rather. Here we go...

You are Lliam Neeson's daughter in the movie Taken. You are young, inexperienced, and very naive. Several large, hideous men have just broken into your apartment in France...

WOULD YOU RATHER ... 1) Papa Lliam phones you and asks you how you are feeling, supports you through these emotions and then works with you to decide your course of action together; OR 2) Papa Lliam says "Listen to me. You are going to be taken. I need you to do the following things and focus..."

The first option is the "Participating" leadership style and is often effective if the group or individual at the "Capable but Unwilling" maturity level. The group/individuals need guidance and support in order to take responsibility for the completion of their task. The second option (your choice, I assume), is an example of the "Telling" leadership style, paired with the "Unable and Insecure" maturity level. This style is most used in situations where the group or individuals being led lack necessary skills or are unable to complete the task at hand.

Okay ... next one - You are a good public speaker who has being speaking in front of groups for years. You are ready to take your career to the next level and seek out an experienced motivational speaker to help you progress.

WOULD YOU RATHER... 1) Your new leader listens to every presentation that you deliver, then sits you down and explains to you all the things you could do to improve, OR 2) Your new leader focuses on getting to know you and where your confidence comes from, helps you build a network and leads you to find the best ways to deliver your message.

The first option demonstrates the "Selling" leadership style, often most effective with the "Unable and Willing" level of maturity, which focuses on providing direction and support to enthusiastic learners. The second option (more favourable here), is an example of the "Delegating" style of leadership as it allows the "Capable and Confident" individual to take responsibility for their growth while being supported by their leader along the way.

Hopefully, the above examples have shown you the different situational leadership styles - Telling, Selling, Participating and Delegating in action and how they interact with the different maturity levels - Unable but insecure, Unable and willing, Capable but unwilling, Capable and confident. Another important thing to note is that, depending on the task, an individual or group can have a different level of maturity. It all depends on the SITUATION at hand.

So, next time you find yourself in any situation that calls upon your leadership ... think of what your team member would rather given their task-specific abilities and needs, instead of choosing your leadership approach based on your own abilities and needs ... you'll be surprised by what you come up with.

And, as always, I will leave you with a quote that sums up this theory in a wonderful way ...

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails." - Bertha Calloway

Introducing... The Theories Series

Good afternoon fellow leaders! I hope that you had a riveting weekend and are already off to a good start by kicking serious leadership ass this week ...

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? I have just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story and I need all of you to pay attention: There are 6 million leadership theories out there and most sound like an S Club 7 song montage ... don't believe me? Check out these vids:

Believe me now? (if not, please also refer to "Gonna Change the World")

I digress, since leadership theories can be very daunting in their breadth and depth, I am launching the SYTYC-lead THEORIES SERIES (eries-eries-eries).

Stay tuned for this week's first post that will make the Situational Leadership model make sense, with very sparing use of S Club 7's lyrical genius.

"Don't stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top. When the world seems to get too tough, bring it all back to you." - The 'genius' who wrote S Club 7's music.

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Passion poutine: the fries, curds and gravy of leadership.

In honour of the grand opening of Smoke's Poutinerie in Waterloo, I decided to delve a little deeper into what makes this food so delightful ... and why throngs of people young and old are taking the plunge into this world of savoury lunchtime goodness and afternoon office-comas.

What is so great about poutine? And what does it have to do with effective leadership? (Keep in mind that I'm talking about REAL poutine, not the mushy brown slop that they serve you at fast food joins ... yeah Burger King, I'm talkin' to YOU). 

Let's eat ...

The fries: Fresh, but familiar. Crisp, yet soft on the inside. Warm, but not so hot that they disintegrate the very structure of your mouth... well, at least if you're patient. Being an effective leader is not so different from this sturdy vehicle that escorts curds and gravy to the exclusive parties hosted by our post-bar taste buds.

As a leader, you must bring forth fresh and new ideas ... yet ensure that these ideas don't rock the boat so much that they cause fear and distrust. You must also have a tough, crisp exterior when needed, but a soft, compassionate heart to back it up. And lastly, you must be just the right temperature to keep your team close without pushing them away.

Now, what about the toppings?

The curds: Unique, but strong. An acquired taste, but widely loved. Different, yet familiar.

As a leader, being different is essential ... but you must delicately walk the line between being so unique that you're one double-joint away from Cirque de Soleil and being so generic that people mistake you for Keanu Reeves. Cheese curds are different, but we can still identify with them as a unique subset of the familiar, wonderful world of dairy. Be unique, blaze your own trail ... just be sure to blaze one that others can also follow.

And lastly ...

The gravy: The pièce de résistance (yes, I still remember that ALT+130 makes a french accent). Rich, smooth, creamy. The delicate glue that holds the dish together. Too much of it, and you end up with chunky soup that is the temperature of the sun. Not enough of it, and the cheese curds don't warm up, leaving you with cold, squeaky cheese and exposed fries.

As a leader, your actions and words are the glue that holds the team together. You must work to bind people to each other in a meaningful way, all while walking the tight rope between too much and too little. If you provide too much direction, you will drench individuality and create a soupy mess of "yes" people. But, if you provide too little direction you will have a cardboard container full of people that don't mesh and can't deliver a cohesive, well-balanced product.

As you can see, the poutine of leadership is a very delicate mix of tough and soft, unique yet familiar and just enough direction to bring it all together into a delectable finished product that caters to the masses.

So, take a minute to identify the components of your passion poutine as a leader and think about how you can put a dish on the table that delights even the toughest of critics.

"There is no passion to be found in playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living" - Nelson Mandela

Frustration, technology and how to have a good bad week

Although I am often nauseatingly positive, today I'm going over to the dark side ... to talk about frustration, how much I HATE technology sometimes (most of the time) and how to turn a week that makes you want to punch a baby into a week that makes you want to open a daycare for newborns.

My week began like any other ... slow to start Monday morning, sped up a bit by the afternoon, and by the evening I was ready to sprint through to Friday. Yikes, I would come in dead last at the Olympics. Nonetheless, everything was moving well until I came face to face with a big, bulky, obnoxious adversary ... our office printer. I shall call him Chad Kroeger. After three long hours and a LOT of crumpled up paper and self-worth in the recycling bin, I gave up and let him win.

Now, I can hear the #firstworldproblems tweets whizzing out of your smartphones as we speak. I know, this is not a big problem. But, when your week is starting off like a productive run around the track, obstacles like these have the ability to trip you and completely throw you off ... especially when they include the lead singer of Nickelback's robotic alter ego.

So, how do we get up and get back in the race? Well, here are a few tips from a girl who is still standing and was able to silence the noise coming from that awful excuse for an artist ...

1. Walk away. Avoid going all Office Space on him, channel your inner Kelly Clarkson and WALK AWAY.
2. Do something else. Preferably, far away from technology. For example, make some tea, chat with a few colleagues about Monday's episode of Bachelor Pad and try not to look directly at Chad ... your eyes may start bleeding.
3. Set something up to look forward to. For example, plan to work from home on Friday, far away from Kroegs and in the comfort of your sanctuary.

My Friday home office

4. Do something with your anger. Channel your inner frustration and turn it into action. My personal favourite is going for an angry run. What the hell is an angry run?... you might ask. Well, in it's simplest form, it is a jog. But the trick with an angry run is that you have to spend the whole time thinking about how pissed off you are and HOLY CRAP, do you ever fly.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, win. No matter what it is that is frustrating you, it is essential that you get closure and chalk it up as a win. Now, I'm not saying if a colleague is being frustrating that you should go all Biggie vs. 2Pac on them and have a showdown in the office. In this context, a "win" constitutes anything that will calm your nerves and allow you to move forward. If it's a conflict with a colleague, invite them out for a coffee and have a good chat (unless your colleague is actually Chad Kroeger). If it's a printer, ask for help, laugh it off and try to learn something valuable.

Every once in a while, you're going to have a week that feels like a  never-ending Nickelback concert. When you do, remember that you are human and it is okay ... but also remember that you can turn it around if you put your mind to it. Take the time to understand what is making your week so horrible and work to change it. Be intentional. Find the tricks that work for you and stay focused ... you'll be amazed at how much it helps.

"In every difficult situation there is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it." - Norman Vincent Peale

#Musicalmotivation: From lyrics to leadership

For those of you who haven't had the (dis)pleasure of meeting me ... basically any song that isn't written by Nickelback can bring me to tears in a matter of seconds. Why am I sharing this very deep and embarrassing piece of personal information?

First off, it's because I want to publicly state that I despise Nickelback and the long-stringy-haired horse they rode in on.

And slightly more importantly, it's because I want to explore the power of lyrics and how they can make us better leaders. There is something about taking a string of words and tackling it with a melody that can really move you. I've never been a fan of spoken word or slam poetry, but the second that an acoustic guitar shows up to the party, I'm hooked.

I've been known to pull the car over on busy streets and toss on my four-ways because I'm crying too hard to keep myself and other motorists safe, all because of a country song.

To honour the theme of this post, I am going to (attempt) to keep my narrative short and focus on powerful lyrics that can turn me into a human waterpark with just a few notes. Feel free to sing along ...

John Legend - If you're out there

Notable notes:
"We're the generation that can't afford to wait, the future started yesterday and we're already late."
"If you're ready we can shake the world. Believe again, it starts within."
"We don't have to wait for destiny, we should be the change that we want to see."

If that doesn't make you forget to shoulder-check and accidentally cut someone off in a weepy fit, nothing will... and I'm sorry to alarm you, but your heart is made of tin. It's amazing what a few words can do. Here's one more, just because I'm dragging ass this morning and am in definite need of some melodic motivation ...

Rascal Flatts - Stand

Notable notes:
"When push comes to shove you taste what your made of."
"On your knees, you look up, decide you've had enough ... you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand."
"Every time you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place."

Doesn't that make you want to jump up from your cubicle, have a good cry in your car and then go change the world? I've got goosebumps just thinking about it.

Many different things can motivate us in a plethora of ways. We just have to let them work their magic. Whenever you can, take a step back and pay attention to what's going on around you. Thank the stranger who held the door for you, dance and sing to a great song that comes on in the grocery store, give out high fives and hugs like its your last day with arms. Always remember that the smallest drop has the power to make the biggest splash, it just might need a little help. Look at, listen to and feel the music of the world around you... there's no better motivation than that.

I would like to leave you with a lyric from Great Big Sea's "Ordinary Day" that is so simple in its beauty and it always picks me up when I need it most ... "I've got a smile on my face and I've got four walls around me."

Tears, the Olympics and believing in each other.

Since every conversation that I've had in the last two weeks has been about how crappy Canada is at the Summer Olympics, I figured it was time to be a bit more positive ... although Dora the Explorer could probably dig up more medals than we have won so far. (Sorry, last one...)

And then, like she had read my mind, an old staff member sent me the following video in a sick attempt to make me weep uncontrollably at my desk ... she succeeded, but she ALSO got me thinking about how wonderful the human spirit is and how much we can learn when we don't win.

So, without further ado, I wish your tear ducts the best of luck ... here it is:

What can we learn from this incredible man and his ADORABLE father with great fashion sense? Well, where should I start? First, you should hug your foot today if you haven't yet. Secondly, there is nothing more powerful than the human spirit. But, more importantly, there is nothing more powerful than belief. Now, I am not talking about believing in Santa Claus ... although I am still mad at my parents for gorging on all of the macadamia nut cookies that we WASTED on an imaginary man who clearly did not need any more dessert ... I am talking about believing in each other. Derek was determined to finish the race although he had a TORN HAMSTRING - which, by the way, is comparable to the pain experienced by the dude played by James Franco in 127 Hours (shudder) - but, this determination was turned into success by his father's belief.

We cannot get through this life alone, that's for sure ... but we also cannot get through this life if we don't believe in each other. It is one thing to surround yourself with people who make you laugh, dance and sing, but it is another thing to make meaning with these people. Share yourself, support the people that you love, show them that you will be there to pick them up when life tears their hamstring and knocks them down.

So, today, my challenge for all of us is not about leadership in the traditional sense. My challenge is about meaningful interactions. Instead of walking by a friend and saying "How are you?" .. "Good, you?" and not even listening to the answer ... stop, ask a REAL question and listen, you will be surprised by the outcome. Instead of sitting on a friend's couch and talking about Chris' latest shenanigans in Bachelor Pad, talk about family, regrets, love and heartbreak.

Go out today and care about yourself, the people that you love, and the power of believing in it all. Because, after all of the material things, shiny medals and national anthems fade away ... all we have is each other.

#Thatawkwardmoment ... friend or foe?

As I sat through a relatively choppy meeting a few weeks ago with someone I had never met before, I was overtaken by some sort of out-of-body experience ... well, not really, mainly I just listened to myself speak for once in my life.

And then it dawned on me ... I am REALLY awkward sometimes. When I listened to myself in the meeting babbling about god knows what, I couldn't believe it ... do I EVER shut up? To all my friends, please don't answer that. Now, as someone who's own mother can't remember a time when I wasn't speaking as a baby, I recognize that I am quite the gilmore girl. And, as my best friend puts it, I am a "learned" good listener; ie/ I used to be an obnoxious ass until I realized that listening to people would be a good idea... what are best friends for if not brutal honesty, right?

Best friends, and incredible awkwardness.

So this leads me to my theme of the day, the proverbial awkward silence. Why are we all so terrified of that gaping hole in conversation that raises the hairs on our backs and makes sitting still a literal impossibility? If, for some reason, you don't know what this feels like ... think about the moment in between two movie previews when all you want to do is be silent but, of course, your body chooses that EXACT moment to tickle your nostrils and make you sneeze sour patch kids all over the theatre... got it now? Thought so.

Well, as all of my fellow rez-lifers who have been trained in the wonderful art of "active listening" know, we must embrace these horrendous silences. We (especially me) must, against every fibre of our being, just SHUT IT once in a while. Because, in those silences, some of the most wonderful things can be heard. As a society that is consumed by noise and distraction, we need to redefine silence as something that is meaningful, powerful and not awkward in the least. Silence gives us time to think, reflect and connect in a very impactful way.

And right now, somewhat ironically, I am at a loss for words. So, I am going to let Mitch Albom take this one away with some of his magnificent words from Tuesdays with Morrie, my favourite book ...

"He enters the classroom, sits down, doesn't say anything. He looks at us, we look at him. At first, there are a few giggles, but Morrie only shrugs, and eventually a deep silence falls and we begin noticing the smallest sounds, the radiator humming in the corner of the room, the nasal breathing of one of the students. Some of us are agitated. When is he going to say something? We squirm, check our watches. A few students look out the window, trying to be above it all. This goes on for a good fifteen minutes, before Morrie breaks in with a whisper. 'What's happening here?' he asks. And slowly a discussion begins -- as Morrie has wanted all along -- about the effect of silence on human relations. Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?"

Today, and everyday, I encourage us all to spend some time in silence. Listen to yourself, listen to the amazing world around you. Just lock it up for however many minutes that you can and embrace yourself, your opportunities and most of all, the incredible beauty of silence.

To echo the wonderful Morrie (and to encourage you to read the book if you haven't),

What comfort DO we find in all the noise?

#Thatawkwardmoment

The Bachelorette: losers, lovers or ... leaders?

I feel that we can all agree on the fact that the Bachelorette can be a fascinating social commentary but, by all intents and purposes, it is BAD... AND it sucks.

Now, I consider myself somewhat well-read and relatively intelligent. So, why the hell do I spend TWO (or three, in this week's case) HOURS watching a show like this every Monday night?

This week, as I sunk lower and lower into my couch for longer than most Bachelorette relationships last, I decided to do something productive ... I started using my brain. Bold move, I know.

I started thinking about how leadership works into the daily interactions of the Bach's men and woman and, surprisingly, I was able to sketch some distinct parallels.

We will begin with Emily. Pretty, sassy, southern Emily. Yes, she has a CHILD and chose to go on the Bachelor/ette not once, but TWICE. Yes, she has done some things to her face that I would not do to my thanksgiving turkey, let alone face. Yes, she has a really hot bod and makes most of us quite jealous. But, aside from all of those dashing qualities, she (or at least the producers' version of her) is quite a leader.

*Disclaimer: I know that the tv version of Emily is most likely nowhere close to the real Emily and I know that reality tv is fabricated ... so please transport yourself to leadership la-la land and go with me.*

Our lovely bachelorette is thrown into a situation where she has literally ALL of the power and is surrounded by 25 men who will do whatever she asks of them ... and, aside from making ten of them awkwardly watch Brave from the balcony of an old theatre, she avoids abusing her power as much as possible. She makes herself vulnerable, comes down to their level, and does her best to make them feel as comfortable as she can - all without making everyone else feel slighted or less important. She is gracious, stands up for what she believes in, and tries to see the good in everyone around her ... even the guy who's occupation is "Party MC" ... I mean, come on. She plays along, laughs at herself and shares her passions. Take the fact that she's on a game show where she dates someone for a total of 17 hours and expects them to be her husband AND the step-father of her child out of the equation, and you've got yourself the description of a pretty fantastic leader.

Now onto our pool of eligible misfits. Are they lovers, losers, or leaders? Well, I can think of a few who come to mind that fit into each of the first two categories but, also, a few who fit into the latter. They are patient, they are vulnerable, they share, they understand when it is important to shut up and listen and they realize when it is important to speak up and take a stand. They fight for the little guy (in this instance, a little girl with a little guy's name), and they do their best to get along in one of the most socially terrifying and catastrophic situations... seriously, they are 25 huge men who live in a house with endless booze and are all fighting for one smokin hot chick... yikes.

So, the moral of the story is, when you're sitting on the couch covered in popcorn shrapnel and feel like your brain is slowly turning into rice pudding, take a second to think critically about what you're exposing yourself to, and try to change the way you see things.

Because, in the end, there is no reality; there is only perception.

Gluten-free leadership: a lesson in adaptability

It was a hot, humid morning in the heart of summer. I had been over-served the night prior (to no fault of my own), and was desperately hustling back from Toronto to Waterloo, in hopes of making it to an appointment on time. My head ached, my voice had taken the day off, my throat was dry and my stomach was grumbling ... Then, like an oasis in the Sahara, the beautiful plastic sign that reads "Always Fresh. Always Tim Horton's." appeared on the horizon. With a raspy sigh of relief, I wheeled into the parking lot and bounded (lightly) through the door, ready to satisfy my need for an unnecessary amount of caffeine and a yummy breakfast.

Then it hit me, like the Cuervo that I was too friendly with the night before ... I can't think of a single gluten-free item on this menu.

W.T.F. Tim Horton's?

This leads me to my thought of the day regarding the importance of being adaptable and understanding the needs of those around you. Yes, some of you may think that us non-gluten-eaters are weak and will be weeded out by evolution. Yes, most of you who know me ridicule me on a regular basis about my inferior stomach strength. But, no matter what, none of you can disagree with the fact that more and more people today are becoming intolerant to gluten and, to be successful, restaurants are going to need to adapt.

Just as I am going to write a concerned letter laden with exaggeration and emotional outbreaks to someone in a leadership position at Tim Horton's, I urge you to write the same letter to yourself (or just think about it... whatever works).

Are you paying attention to the changing circumstances of the environment around you?
Are you offering leadership that every member of your team can access and enjoy?
Are you soliciting honest and real feedback from your subordinates, teammates, supervisors... and then acting on this feedback?
Are you truly providing the best leadership service that you can to everyone that deserves it?
Are you in tune with the needs of everyone around you? Are you in tune with your own needs?

Think about it.

Every day, something changes ... is your ear close enough to the ground that you will be able to sense the change? I'd like to share with you something that a student leader said to me that really hit home - I asked him what leadership quality was the most important when leading a team ... and he turned to me and said,

"To lead a community, you must be a part of that community."

Now, I'm not saying that the CEO of Tim Horton's needs to stop eating gluten. But, I am saying that he needs to empathize with his customers who can't, and work to understand and meet their needs.

All in all, leadership is just as much leading a group of people as it is understanding and joining that group of people. People won't understand your vision if you don't understand theirs. People won't work to reach your goals if you don't work to reach theirs. People won't eat your gluten if you don't try to stop eating gluten (okay, that one was a stretch ... but hopefully you get my point). It is essential that you are not only in-tune with the needs of those around you, but that you are also willing to adapt to those needs whenever the situation calls for it.

So, with that ... I leave you with this ...

Do you offer gluten-free leadership?

What-Q?: The meaning of "smart"

I have come to terms (begrudgingly) with the following statements: Gone are the days of Yo Mama jokes. Gone are the days of Yak Baks. Gone are the days of Nano Pets and Tamagotchis... but I can honestly say that I never thought I would have to come to terms with: "Gone are the days of IQ".

But it's happening. As hard as it was to stop singing "colours of the world, spice up yo life!!" into my Yak Bak, it is going to be even harder for all of us to wrap our heads around the fact that the concept of being "smart" is changing and increasing in complexity.

When we were young, being smart was synonymous with the dorkus at the front of the class wearing flood pants and a science camp t-shirt (I can say this because I WAS THAT DORKUS). But, now that we are growing and becoming aware of the world outside of sweaty portables, being smart means so much more. This can be daunting and even a little unsettling, but I like to see it as a wonderful opportunity. Since the definition of intelligence is evolving, it is becoming more accessible to everyone ... especially leaders.

Every day, every moment, every interaction provides us with an opportunity to grow our leadership intelligence. What is leadership intelligence? You might ask ... Well, I promise it won't be as confusing as trying to get your Tamagotchi to shut up at 3am. To me, leadership intelligence definitely involves the new traits like emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) and cultural intelligence (CQ), but it also involves a LOT more...

It's our ability to act professionally at the office but still have (responsible) fun outside of the office. It's our ability to manage our own personal health and wellness - mentally, physically, emotionally and socially. It's our ability to be kind and compassionate. It's love. It's sharing. It's admitting our faults and celebrating our successes. It's being accepting and open-minded. It's trying new things and taking risks. It's play. It's hard work. It's dedication. It's doing something out of the goodness of your heart, just to see a smile on someone else's face. It's please. It's thank you. It's big bear hugs that have the power to change your day in one fleeting moment. It's high fives. It's sending an email to someone just to tell them that you think they're doing a great job... I could go on for days...

If I can sum it up in one phrase for you ... Leadership Intelligence is founded by awareness, and built through acting on that awareness in order to make the world around you a better place. 

As we redefine the concept of intelligence, we open a world of possibilities for our leadership and our ability to make change. If we all pledged to get a little bit "smarter" every day ... I truly believe that we could make this world a better place.

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela

Beating the heat and riding the wave

Dear Mother Nature,

You've made your point. Global Warming is a real thing, we get it. But quite literally, you need to COOL IT. From those of us who suffer from hyper-hydrosis, please ... so we can maintain some shred of dignity at work.

Love,

Kathryn "Even typing is making me sweat" Christie

Until she gets my message, I figured I would toss out a quick post with some fun ideas to beat the heat, leadership style. As I alluded to above, our province is currently the temperature of the sun and we could all use some motivation to get out of bed in the morning and put any type of clothing on our body, let alone willingly walk out the door into an oversized sauna.

1. Network: In Canada, everyone is oddly obsessed with talking about the weather... the heat wave is a perfect in to begin a conversation with someone in line at Tim Horton's or hanging out by the office fridge. "How 'bout this heat wave?" BAM, you're in.

2. Appreciate your followers: If you are in a leadership position, this is the perfect opportunity to show your staff how much you love them at a very low cost. Bring a box of popsicles (I suggest Space Pops for the best pay off) into work and walk around the office handing them out to your crew - not only will you have the opportunity to chat informally with them, but they will also love you for the rest of the day because you made their mouth feel like the Arctic Circle.

3. Make a game out of it: With your crew, start a competition to build morale and boost motivation. My favourites include:

- An email thread titled "I would rather" where people write in what they would rather be doing instead of standing outside in the heat wave. For example, I would rather eat an entire bicycle in one sitting than stand outside right now.
- A competition to see who can guess the exact temperature - bring a thermometer into work, place it outside and then elicit guesses. Whoever gets it right on the money gets, you guessed it, an extra Space Pop. JACKPOT.
- A competition to see who can create an apparatus out of office supplies that will keep an ice cube from melting outside. Pair people up and give them 15 minutes to create their masterpiece and then place them outside and see who's ice cube outlasts the others.

4. Theme it up: Hot weather is the best excuse to do ridiculous things in the office because you always have a perfect excuse that no one can dispute. Have a theme day (nudists? Just kidding ... not that there's anything wrong with it ...) where everyone can dress in something that is much more comfortable than a suit and enjoy themselves in style.

All in all, everyone hates heat waves. We are sweaty, irritable and just can't get comfortable. So put on your leadership bikini and try to ride the wave and build some office spirit... it just might make your pit stains that are flirting with your belt loops a bit more bearable.

"No one has ever drowned in sweat" - Lou Holtz

Got any fun ideas? Post them in the comments section below!

Leadership parkour

Back in the glory days, a few of my wonderful friends and I spent an evening running around, jumping off of random blocks, log-rolling along the sidewalk, and generally making fools of ourselves ... all in the name of being extremely hip and with-it because, ofcourse, we were "parkouring". If by chance you aren't as avant-garde as my "posse" was, check it out ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEeqHj3Nj2c (what the pros look like) / http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_1Ezczq06I (what we looked like).

Why do I bring this up? Well, after my previous childhood wisdom post, I started delving further into my thoughts with respect to the concept of a personal "leadership journey". In CW, we looked at the EXTERNAL journey ... so now I want to turn the tables and look internally.When I think about the internal development that every leader goes through, it becomes evident that it is far from a straight line. Instead of walking casually from A to B, it is much more like parkouring from A - B ... well, A-D-concussion-Q-upside down-F-M-L-flip-B.

Now, I know that this may get confused with my previous post ... so remember that we are focusing on how you develop your self-concept as a leader, not the way that you act as one.

I use the parkour analogy because it is vital that you are INTENTIONAL about your internal development, instead of just walking aimlessly towards a location. You need to identify things to jump over, to bounce off of, to roll over, to use as a platform. Every point of contact is an opportunity to learn, improve strength, re-calculate your journey and look ahead to locate your next strategy.

In development, much like in parkour, the course can be busy with a lot of highs and lows, big gaps and tall obstacles ... an ever-changing environment filled with distractions and challenges. And the objective is to get to the desired state with the least amount of scrapes and bruises. Now the fascinating thing about parkour, which ties back to our own leadership journey, is that "parkourers" (like myself) don't go from A to B as quickly as possible ... instead, they go from A to B by making contact with as many different objects as possible.

This, my friends, is the hidden gem of parkour. Often, we look at our leadership development as being linear instead of letting ourselves ricochet off of whatever point of contact we ACTUALLY need at that exact moment in time, regardless of what or who it is.

So with this, we can identify some takeaways from our fearless friends who jump around like cheetahs through the city streets. When travelling through our own personal leadership development, we must see our path for what it truly is ... risky, exciting, ever-changing, full of people and places that we can use as touch-points, and almost entirely contingent on an accurate assessment of our abilities and needs at any given moment in time. Parkourers know themselves - they know their own strengths and abilities, they know what they should do next to cater to these strengths, and they know exactly what they need to push themselves over their next hurdle. But most of all, they TRUST themselves to do it safely and successfully.

Sounds a lot like self-awareness and leadership to me.

"Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." - Fred Shero

Childhood wisdom: "Don't step on the cracks!"

Yesterday, as I strolled to my car (which, coincidentally, had been towed), I was busy tweeting and somehow misjudged my gait, causing me to take an epic fall. Highlights include: my cellphone skidding across the pavement, my glasses flying off my face and soaring through the air like a frisbee, scraping my elbows, and widespread shock and awe from my awkward onlookers.

After I collected the remains of my belongings and self-esteem, I got to thinking... What caused this hysterical blooper? And then it hit me ... I stepped on a crack. This immediately time-warped me back to my childhood days when there was molten hot lava under every sidewalk in North America and I, a fearless trailblazer, was determined to avoid having my feet burned off in a tragic accident... much like what happened to me yesterday. Oh, what I would have given to have been paying attention to where I was stepping instead of trying to think of a hilarious hashtag for my most recent tweet.

I began to reflect on this childhood game that we all used to play and it really started speaking to me ... in a leadership kind of way. Let's break it down for a second: On any journey towards an ultimate destination, you would walk cautiously, keeping your eyes on the ground with extreme focus. Sometimes you would have to slow down, shuffle your feet and take a few smaller-than-normal awkward steps to avoid a crack. Other times you would have to speed up and jump to barely squeak by a crack a few feet ahead ... and stick the landing with a quick wave to the audience (irritated Mom). Sometimes you would have to judge 3 or 4 cracks ahead to ensure that you had the appropriate amount of hop-skip-jumps planned out to clear all of them in one fell swoop. Ultimately, you would reach your destination with burn-free feet and a reluctant high-five from Mom.

Alright, analogy time. As leaders, we are often so focused on our final destination that we sometimes step on a crack and launch our glasses into the middle of the street, all to find that our final destination has been towed and now our elbows are bleeding. So, instead, let's channel our inner 6 year old and play a little game of "don't step on the cracks".

As a leader, there are times when you have to slow down, change your pace and re-evaluate the steps that you are taking ... shuffle your feet a little bit in order to better prepare for an upcoming obstacle or challenge - one that you may not have seen if you were solely focused on the ultimate goal. There are also times when you need to take a risk, a leap of faith in order to clear an obstacle and land safely on the other side. And there are also times when you need to have foresight and look ahead to challenges three or four cracks in the future and create a current action plan to overcome them.

As you can see, there is no easy way for us leaders to get to our final destination ... there will always be cracks along the way. The trick is to pay attention to these cracks and adapt to them. You will never be able to get from A to B with the exact same pace and strategy; Leadership requires much more than that. Be flexible, adapt, welcome change. You will reach your destination much more effectively ... and if you do miss a crack because you're busy tweeting - get up, brush yourself off, LAUGH, and keep moving towards your goal.

With this, I will leave you with a quote from one of my favourite poems, "Dream Big":
"There is only one you and you will pass this way but once. Do it right."

Let's talk tangibles

First things first, I'd like to start by saying how irritating leadership is... well, as a concept at least. How many articles can you read about being transformational before you LITERALLY transform into something else? Not that it wouldn't be wicked to be an AutoBot, it's just that I don't see how it relates to my abilities as a leader. Wait, I like this tangent ... let's think about Optimus Prime for a second ... talk about leadership! He casually saves all of EARTH and it's not even his own planet. I digress, the point is that we need to blow up the buzz words and start talking like real humans (or OpPri) in order to fully understand what leadership is and, in turn, become better leaders ourselves.

Now, I'm not saying that all of the literature and research on leadership isn't beneficial for our development ... I'm just saying that there's WAY too much of it to boil down to create our own leadership style. If we have any How I Met Your Mother fans out there, it would be a hell of a lot like Ted's first day as a professor ... for those who aren't fans, become fans.

In order to open the leadership Cryptex, I believe that we need to focus on the tangibles. The see, feel, touch, hear, dos and don'ts of day to day leadership ... they make the difference. It isn't the transformational vision of the CEO of AmeriCorpCapitalMarketMegaBros & Co.. It's the day to day moments, the "be all you can be" of every day life ... THAT'S leadership in its truest form.

So what are these moments? Well, they are all around us. To quote Mother Teresa (get used to her, she's my GIRL), "We cannot all do great things, but we can all do small things with great love." Now, I recognize that this sounds pretty damn cheesy ... but hear me out. The thing about small things is that they are never small things. Think about the last time that a complete stranger smiled at you on the street. After the minor  I-may-know-him-but-don't-recognize-him-but-don't-want-to-look-like-a-forgetful-jerk inner panic that you felt, didn't you feel AWESOME? That random dude with the cool hat just looked at you and flashed his pearly whites, for no other reason than the fact that he thought your hat was cool too ... or whatever accessory you were rocking that day. He didn't have to smile - he could've frowned, scowled, or worse, flashed you some weird hand gesture that made you feel uncomfortable... but he didn't. He smiled. A good old-fashioned Mister Rogers smile.

These moments are what I'm talking about. They are tangible. You can feel them, remember them, share them with someone else ... and most importantly, they ignite your heart. They light your pilot light on days when you definitely aren't heating the whole swimming pool to a comfortable 80 degrees (Fahrenheit ... ofcourse, we want to keep our skin if at all possible). These moments make you better, even if you don't realize it at the time. Because of these moments, you are a better person for at least the whole day ... at least. And that is something that should not be taken lightly, especially in the world that we live in today.

So, to finish off my very first post I want to leave you with this thought: How many times a day do you choose to frown instead of smile?