Wednesday 31 October 2012

Concussed: ramblings from a bruised brain.

On Saturday, I got a concussion and it rocked me ... literally. Where did I put my water bottle? I had to go to the hospital (BLEH) and, sadly, we didn't see any hilariously-drunken-slutty pumpkins with broken toe nails in the ER. So, now that my week has gotten off to a very slow and painful start, below are the ramblings of my bruised brain and yes, this is the best I can come up with. Has anyone seen my scarf?


In my concussed state, I have realized that compassion and empathy are very powerful. Even the little 10 year olds that I coach have been absolutely wonderful with me, which leads me to thank their parents for modelling compassion and understanding to them at such a young age - they're going to go far because of it.

Wallet... check. Phone... check. Keys... DAMNIT.

In addition, I have also realized that I take my brain for granted. So, we shouldn't do that. Be thankful for the powerful machine that you have up in your noggin and keep it safe. It is incredible what a little shake-up can do to your ability to process information ... seriously, where the hell is my water bottle?

I have also realized that driving takes a lot more focus that I previously thought. My road rage is at an all-time high and Hurricane Sandy is not helping anything... which navigates me to my next point: we should never underestimate the power of things that we cannot control. It's humbling and terrifying all at the same time. Head nod to Mother Nature... I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. Also, I think someone stole my scarf.

And lastly, a comment re: Halloween. It's awesome to see how excited people get about it... no matter how young or how old. So I say "way to go Halloween!" for re-igniting the child within all of us, letting us eat candy without (a lot of) guilt, and giving us a great reason to strike up conversations with strangers dressed like pirates. I'm so thirsty.

Alrighty, there you have it. My brain is bruised. Talk soon, hopefully when I've regenerated a considerably larger number of brain cells.

Thursday 25 October 2012

Ignite Waterloo: losing control to gain control?

On Tuesday, I participated in an event called Ignite Waterloo, where you have to do a 5 minute speech that involves 20 slides timed for exactly 15 seconds each ... that you can't control.

At the beginning, when I was accepted to speak, I thought that my only problem would be figuring out how to speak for ONLY 5 minutes ... as we all know, I have trouble shutting up at the best of times. But, as I began preparing my speech about childhood wisdom, I realized that the problem wasn't what to say, when to say it or how to say it ... the problem was that I COULDN'T CLICK THE SLIDES MYSELF. It drove me absolutely bananas.

Then, it hit me ... I have serious control issues, that I will blame/thank(?) my father for. For example, during a massage (which, in theory, should be relaxing), my RMT said to me, "You know that you resist me a lot, right? Could you maybe just try to relax?"... then I heard the flush of my $90 going down the toilet. I can't even give control over my back muscles to a REGISTERED PROFESSIONAL for a mere 60 minutes. As my Mom says, I am my father's daughter (context: my Dad doesn't let any of us hold our passports when we go on vacation. My brother is 27 and I am 24 and my mother is well, a mother ... starting to make sense now? Thought so.).

I digress, in a lot of leadership situations, the need for control is an asset. But, as I learned over my past few weeks of presentation prep-induced anxiety, in some situations it can be a colossal hindrance.

So, this leads me to my revelation of the week. Having "control issues" is not a crutch to lean on. It is something that we can use to our advantage in order to regain control of an often overlooked area of leadership: ourselves. Sometimes, to regain control of ourselves as leaders we need to relinquish our control over everything else. As I worked on perfecting my speech to go along with timing that was out of my reach I realized that, without having control over the situation, the only person I could control was myself. Moreover, through relinquishing my situational stronghold, I had the ability to focus solely on my performance and be the best version of ME that I could be in that moment.

Talk about an A! HA!


So this week, my challenge is to relinquish your control and focus on yourself. Let someone else take the reins and see how you adapt. BUT please, don't go all "Jesus, take the wheel" on me ... I can assure you that Carrie Underwood is full of crap. Not only will you surprise yourself with your ability to - very agonizingly, in my case - relinquish control, but you will also surprise yourself with the things that you can learn along the way.

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu

P.S. If you want to see my speech ... here it is!



Thursday 18 October 2012

Sharing is caring: you are what you tweet

For those of you who know me, you won't often see me updating my Facebook status to something laden with sarcasm and political opinions. Well, maybe the sarcasm part. But, I don't really fancy myself as someone who is a politics-buff in any way shape or form.


THAT being said, I do want to comment on what's been going on these past few weeks ... not regarding politics themselves, but mainly about my news feed and Twitter feed. I would like to mention the amazing intellectual and analytical ability that my fellow facebookians/tweeps have. It is truly incredible. Yes, my friends are all geniuses. But seriously, we need to give our generation some credit for being well-informed and actually INTERESTED in what is going on in this world ... I love it. So today, let's think about how we can use this potential to make change and create something meaningful that is bigger than just our social media musings.

Therefore, without further ado, I have come up with a few status updates of my own in response to what has been has been going on with the Presidential debates, as well as Dalton's abrupt resignation.

"Dear Generation,

Hey, it's me ... just wanted to say that you are incredibly eloquent when you put your mind to it. So, I say we focus on communicating with each other in the same intelligent way that we communicate our thoughts and jokes about how Mitt Romney's first name is Mitt. Let's avoid using the power of the internet for bullying and degrading ourselves willingly via photos, self-deprecating jabs and inappropriate comments. Instead, let's prove to everyone else that we, the soon-to-be leaders of this world, have valuable, relevant things to say that worth listening to.

Sincerely,
Let's make Ms Frizzle Proud"

"Talking about the #liberalparty with my intelligent peers! Our valid opinions will be sent to a local party representative repeatedly until we receive a response #takingaction"

We, as a generation, have an incredible amount of power. We have access to the entire world at the drop of a tweet. We can access news and information in such real-time that we know what's happening before the news stations do. Back in the day, when somebody wanted to send a message to thousands of people to get them behind a movement or a cause, they had to WALK and knock on doors to do so. We can now reach thousands in mere seconds through 140 characters and a catchy hashtag.

So today, I want us to think about the power that we have at our fingertips. Yes, continue sharing whatever you would like on FB and Twitter, I'll read it and I'll enjoy it. But also, share your passions, your aspirations and your desire for change. This is my call to action. We are all leaders merely because we have instantaneous access to a massive audience at any time of the day ... let's start using this power for good, for change. We can and we should ... because if we don't, no one will.

In the wonderful words of Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

Sunday 14 October 2012

Getting lost: navigating our stress-induced alter egos

Last weekend, I travelled to Boston with my wonderful family... in a car. Now, if you've never been to Boston you're probably thinking "Wow, lucky girl ... that sounds like it was full of rainbows and candycanes!" But, if you have ever been anywhere near Boston or listened to someone's colour commentary about their experience, you're probably thinking "Is Kath blogging from the grave? Is Long Island Medium writing this post for Kath?".


Well, friends ... don't worry, it's actually me ... not that wild Medium who's big blonde hair is definitely full of secrets.

BUT, it was a close call once we started getting lost.

So, after the epic screaming/crying/arguing match that my darling family had for approximately 45 straight minutes in our car in the middle of Boston, I got to thinking about why I turn into the female version of angry George Costanza when things get stressful. And, moreover, why we all experience a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde roller coaster of emotions in these situations.

Well, we all know that stress makes us do very weird things and act in ways that are often opposite to our regular selves. In order to combat this, I've thought up some ways to avoid turning into our bizzarro selves when faced with stress ...

1. Find your hot button (get your minds OUT OF THE GUTTER...you know what I mean). Take a step back from the situation and try to identify exactly what triggered your unfamiliar emotion. For example, the woman's voice (I call her B*#&HFACE) on the GPS machine is officially my kryptonite.

2. Try to decrease the impact of the aforementioned trigger. If it is a certain person that's aggravating you, gently try to decrease the impact on your emotions ... Luckily, when we were in Boston, I was able to mute the god damn GPS before I lit it on fire and threw it out the window.

3. It sounds cliche, but BREATHE. Just breathe. It is amazing how closely related our emotions are to our physiological state. By simply paying attention to our breathing, our heart rate slows and, as a result, we become more relaxed. Try to sit more comfortably, relax your shoulders, listen to your breathing.

4. Last, but certainly not least, check your attitude! As the old saying goes, "We cannot direct the wind, but we can always adjust our sails". Take a moment ... take stock of your perspective and try to find a different way to look at things. If I had just sat back and appreciated the fact that I was spending time with three of the most important people in my life, we would have shared a lot more laughs and a lot less "OH WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?"s.

So, as you go through the ridiculous ups and downs that life throws your way, remember your hot buttons (even the dirty ones - if your mind is still in the gutter), be action-oriented, take control of your physiological state and, most importantly, lose the tude and find a silver lining.
"If you don't like something, change it; If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." - Mary Engelbreit