Introducing... The Theories Series

Good afternoon fellow leaders! I hope that you had a riveting weekend and are already off to a good start by kicking serious leadership ass this week ...

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? I have just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story and I need all of you to pay attention: There are 6 million leadership theories out there and most sound like an S Club 7 song montage ... don't believe me? Check out these vids:

Believe me now? (if not, please also refer to "Gonna Change the World")

I digress, since leadership theories can be very daunting in their breadth and depth, I am launching the SYTYC-lead THEORIES SERIES (eries-eries-eries).

Stay tuned for this week's first post that will make the Situational Leadership model make sense, with very sparing use of S Club 7's lyrical genius.

"Don't stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top. When the world seems to get too tough, bring it all back to you." - The 'genius' who wrote S Club 7's music.

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Frustration, technology and how to have a good bad week

Although I am often nauseatingly positive, today I'm going over to the dark side ... to talk about frustration, how much I HATE technology sometimes (most of the time) and how to turn a week that makes you want to punch a baby into a week that makes you want to open a daycare for newborns.

My week began like any other ... slow to start Monday morning, sped up a bit by the afternoon, and by the evening I was ready to sprint through to Friday. Yikes, I would come in dead last at the Olympics. Nonetheless, everything was moving well until I came face to face with a big, bulky, obnoxious adversary ... our office printer. I shall call him Chad Kroeger. After three long hours and a LOT of crumpled up paper and self-worth in the recycling bin, I gave up and let him win.

Now, I can hear the #firstworldproblems tweets whizzing out of your smartphones as we speak. I know, this is not a big problem. But, when your week is starting off like a productive run around the track, obstacles like these have the ability to trip you and completely throw you off ... especially when they include the lead singer of Nickelback's robotic alter ego.

So, how do we get up and get back in the race? Well, here are a few tips from a girl who is still standing and was able to silence the noise coming from that awful excuse for an artist ...

1. Walk away. Avoid going all Office Space on him, channel your inner Kelly Clarkson and WALK AWAY.
2. Do something else. Preferably, far away from technology. For example, make some tea, chat with a few colleagues about Monday's episode of Bachelor Pad and try not to look directly at Chad ... your eyes may start bleeding.
3. Set something up to look forward to. For example, plan to work from home on Friday, far away from Kroegs and in the comfort of your sanctuary.

My Friday home office

4. Do something with your anger. Channel your inner frustration and turn it into action. My personal favourite is going for an angry run. What the hell is an angry run?... you might ask. Well, in it's simplest form, it is a jog. But the trick with an angry run is that you have to spend the whole time thinking about how pissed off you are and HOLY CRAP, do you ever fly.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, win. No matter what it is that is frustrating you, it is essential that you get closure and chalk it up as a win. Now, I'm not saying if a colleague is being frustrating that you should go all Biggie vs. 2Pac on them and have a showdown in the office. In this context, a "win" constitutes anything that will calm your nerves and allow you to move forward. If it's a conflict with a colleague, invite them out for a coffee and have a good chat (unless your colleague is actually Chad Kroeger). If it's a printer, ask for help, laugh it off and try to learn something valuable.

Every once in a while, you're going to have a week that feels like a  never-ending Nickelback concert. When you do, remember that you are human and it is okay ... but also remember that you can turn it around if you put your mind to it. Take the time to understand what is making your week so horrible and work to change it. Be intentional. Find the tricks that work for you and stay focused ... you'll be amazed at how much it helps.

"In every difficult situation there is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it." - Norman Vincent Peale

#Thatawkwardmoment ... friend or foe?

As I sat through a relatively choppy meeting a few weeks ago with someone I had never met before, I was overtaken by some sort of out-of-body experience ... well, not really, mainly I just listened to myself speak for once in my life.

And then it dawned on me ... I am REALLY awkward sometimes. When I listened to myself in the meeting babbling about god knows what, I couldn't believe it ... do I EVER shut up? To all my friends, please don't answer that. Now, as someone who's own mother can't remember a time when I wasn't speaking as a baby, I recognize that I am quite the gilmore girl. And, as my best friend puts it, I am a "learned" good listener; ie/ I used to be an obnoxious ass until I realized that listening to people would be a good idea... what are best friends for if not brutal honesty, right?

Best friends, and incredible awkwardness.

So this leads me to my theme of the day, the proverbial awkward silence. Why are we all so terrified of that gaping hole in conversation that raises the hairs on our backs and makes sitting still a literal impossibility? If, for some reason, you don't know what this feels like ... think about the moment in between two movie previews when all you want to do is be silent but, of course, your body chooses that EXACT moment to tickle your nostrils and make you sneeze sour patch kids all over the theatre... got it now? Thought so.

Well, as all of my fellow rez-lifers who have been trained in the wonderful art of "active listening" know, we must embrace these horrendous silences. We (especially me) must, against every fibre of our being, just SHUT IT once in a while. Because, in those silences, some of the most wonderful things can be heard. As a society that is consumed by noise and distraction, we need to redefine silence as something that is meaningful, powerful and not awkward in the least. Silence gives us time to think, reflect and connect in a very impactful way.

And right now, somewhat ironically, I am at a loss for words. So, I am going to let Mitch Albom take this one away with some of his magnificent words from Tuesdays with Morrie, my favourite book ...

"He enters the classroom, sits down, doesn't say anything. He looks at us, we look at him. At first, there are a few giggles, but Morrie only shrugs, and eventually a deep silence falls and we begin noticing the smallest sounds, the radiator humming in the corner of the room, the nasal breathing of one of the students. Some of us are agitated. When is he going to say something? We squirm, check our watches. A few students look out the window, trying to be above it all. This goes on for a good fifteen minutes, before Morrie breaks in with a whisper. 'What's happening here?' he asks. And slowly a discussion begins -- as Morrie has wanted all along -- about the effect of silence on human relations. Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?"

Today, and everyday, I encourage us all to spend some time in silence. Listen to yourself, listen to the amazing world around you. Just lock it up for however many minutes that you can and embrace yourself, your opportunities and most of all, the incredible beauty of silence.

To echo the wonderful Morrie (and to encourage you to read the book if you haven't),

What comfort DO we find in all the noise?

#Thatawkwardmoment

Gluten-free leadership: a lesson in adaptability

It was a hot, humid morning in the heart of summer. I had been over-served the night prior (to no fault of my own), and was desperately hustling back from Toronto to Waterloo, in hopes of making it to an appointment on time. My head ached, my voice had taken the day off, my throat was dry and my stomach was grumbling ... Then, like an oasis in the Sahara, the beautiful plastic sign that reads "Always Fresh. Always Tim Horton's." appeared on the horizon. With a raspy sigh of relief, I wheeled into the parking lot and bounded (lightly) through the door, ready to satisfy my need for an unnecessary amount of caffeine and a yummy breakfast.

Then it hit me, like the Cuervo that I was too friendly with the night before ... I can't think of a single gluten-free item on this menu.

W.T.F. Tim Horton's?

This leads me to my thought of the day regarding the importance of being adaptable and understanding the needs of those around you. Yes, some of you may think that us non-gluten-eaters are weak and will be weeded out by evolution. Yes, most of you who know me ridicule me on a regular basis about my inferior stomach strength. But, no matter what, none of you can disagree with the fact that more and more people today are becoming intolerant to gluten and, to be successful, restaurants are going to need to adapt.

Just as I am going to write a concerned letter laden with exaggeration and emotional outbreaks to someone in a leadership position at Tim Horton's, I urge you to write the same letter to yourself (or just think about it... whatever works).

Are you paying attention to the changing circumstances of the environment around you?
Are you offering leadership that every member of your team can access and enjoy?
Are you soliciting honest and real feedback from your subordinates, teammates, supervisors... and then acting on this feedback?
Are you truly providing the best leadership service that you can to everyone that deserves it?
Are you in tune with the needs of everyone around you? Are you in tune with your own needs?

Think about it.

Every day, something changes ... is your ear close enough to the ground that you will be able to sense the change? I'd like to share with you something that a student leader said to me that really hit home - I asked him what leadership quality was the most important when leading a team ... and he turned to me and said,

"To lead a community, you must be a part of that community."

Now, I'm not saying that the CEO of Tim Horton's needs to stop eating gluten. But, I am saying that he needs to empathize with his customers who can't, and work to understand and meet their needs.

All in all, leadership is just as much leading a group of people as it is understanding and joining that group of people. People won't understand your vision if you don't understand theirs. People won't work to reach your goals if you don't work to reach theirs. People won't eat your gluten if you don't try to stop eating gluten (okay, that one was a stretch ... but hopefully you get my point). It is essential that you are not only in-tune with the needs of those around you, but that you are also willing to adapt to those needs whenever the situation calls for it.

So, with that ... I leave you with this ...

Do you offer gluten-free leadership?