The Bachelorette: losers, lovers or ... leaders?

I feel that we can all agree on the fact that the Bachelorette can be a fascinating social commentary but, by all intents and purposes, it is BAD... AND it sucks.

Now, I consider myself somewhat well-read and relatively intelligent. So, why the hell do I spend TWO (or three, in this week's case) HOURS watching a show like this every Monday night?

This week, as I sunk lower and lower into my couch for longer than most Bachelorette relationships last, I decided to do something productive ... I started using my brain. Bold move, I know.

I started thinking about how leadership works into the daily interactions of the Bach's men and woman and, surprisingly, I was able to sketch some distinct parallels.

We will begin with Emily. Pretty, sassy, southern Emily. Yes, she has a CHILD and chose to go on the Bachelor/ette not once, but TWICE. Yes, she has done some things to her face that I would not do to my thanksgiving turkey, let alone face. Yes, she has a really hot bod and makes most of us quite jealous. But, aside from all of those dashing qualities, she (or at least the producers' version of her) is quite a leader.

*Disclaimer: I know that the tv version of Emily is most likely nowhere close to the real Emily and I know that reality tv is fabricated ... so please transport yourself to leadership la-la land and go with me.*

Our lovely bachelorette is thrown into a situation where she has literally ALL of the power and is surrounded by 25 men who will do whatever she asks of them ... and, aside from making ten of them awkwardly watch Brave from the balcony of an old theatre, she avoids abusing her power as much as possible. She makes herself vulnerable, comes down to their level, and does her best to make them feel as comfortable as she can - all without making everyone else feel slighted or less important. She is gracious, stands up for what she believes in, and tries to see the good in everyone around her ... even the guy who's occupation is "Party MC" ... I mean, come on. She plays along, laughs at herself and shares her passions. Take the fact that she's on a game show where she dates someone for a total of 17 hours and expects them to be her husband AND the step-father of her child out of the equation, and you've got yourself the description of a pretty fantastic leader.

Now onto our pool of eligible misfits. Are they lovers, losers, or leaders? Well, I can think of a few who come to mind that fit into each of the first two categories but, also, a few who fit into the latter. They are patient, they are vulnerable, they share, they understand when it is important to shut up and listen and they realize when it is important to speak up and take a stand. They fight for the little guy (in this instance, a little girl with a little guy's name), and they do their best to get along in one of the most socially terrifying and catastrophic situations... seriously, they are 25 huge men who live in a house with endless booze and are all fighting for one smokin hot chick... yikes.

So, the moral of the story is, when you're sitting on the couch covered in popcorn shrapnel and feel like your brain is slowly turning into rice pudding, take a second to think critically about what you're exposing yourself to, and try to change the way you see things.

Because, in the end, there is no reality; there is only perception.

What-Q?: The meaning of "smart"

I have come to terms (begrudgingly) with the following statements: Gone are the days of Yo Mama jokes. Gone are the days of Yak Baks. Gone are the days of Nano Pets and Tamagotchis... but I can honestly say that I never thought I would have to come to terms with: "Gone are the days of IQ".

But it's happening. As hard as it was to stop singing "colours of the world, spice up yo life!!" into my Yak Bak, it is going to be even harder for all of us to wrap our heads around the fact that the concept of being "smart" is changing and increasing in complexity.

When we were young, being smart was synonymous with the dorkus at the front of the class wearing flood pants and a science camp t-shirt (I can say this because I WAS THAT DORKUS). But, now that we are growing and becoming aware of the world outside of sweaty portables, being smart means so much more. This can be daunting and even a little unsettling, but I like to see it as a wonderful opportunity. Since the definition of intelligence is evolving, it is becoming more accessible to everyone ... especially leaders.

Every day, every moment, every interaction provides us with an opportunity to grow our leadership intelligence. What is leadership intelligence? You might ask ... Well, I promise it won't be as confusing as trying to get your Tamagotchi to shut up at 3am. To me, leadership intelligence definitely involves the new traits like emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) and cultural intelligence (CQ), but it also involves a LOT more...

It's our ability to act professionally at the office but still have (responsible) fun outside of the office. It's our ability to manage our own personal health and wellness - mentally, physically, emotionally and socially. It's our ability to be kind and compassionate. It's love. It's sharing. It's admitting our faults and celebrating our successes. It's being accepting and open-minded. It's trying new things and taking risks. It's play. It's hard work. It's dedication. It's doing something out of the goodness of your heart, just to see a smile on someone else's face. It's please. It's thank you. It's big bear hugs that have the power to change your day in one fleeting moment. It's high fives. It's sending an email to someone just to tell them that you think they're doing a great job... I could go on for days...

If I can sum it up in one phrase for you ... Leadership Intelligence is founded by awareness, and built through acting on that awareness in order to make the world around you a better place. 

As we redefine the concept of intelligence, we open a world of possibilities for our leadership and our ability to make change. If we all pledged to get a little bit "smarter" every day ... I truly believe that we could make this world a better place.

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela