March Leadership Madness: A microcosm.

For as long as I can remember, I've been creating a bracket for March Madness. Ooo-ing and awhhh-ing at games, slamming my first when Duke loses or when the University of Hawaii upsets a top seed and, without fail, crying during the "One Shining Moment" montage that perennially follows the championship game.

I bet you have been too ... well maybe not the Duke part, pretty much everybody but me, and maybe J.J. Reddick, hates Duke.

While weeping at the red strike-outs that will inevitably litter your bracket, have you ever thought about what March Madness ACTUALLY is, in the grander scheme of things? If you haven't, don't fret because - spoiler alert! - I've figured it out.

MARCH MADNESS IS A MICROCOSM OF THE LIFE OF A LEADER.

Let me explain ...

1. March Madness demands the absolute best out of a team, every single time they step on the court. Much like in life, a good leader is always in the spotlight - they are expected to give their best every time they walk into the office or step onto the stage. And if they don't, they get overtaken by an unsuspecting underdog who wants it more, works harder for it, and outworks them. In this scenario, as a leader, be the underdog who wants it more and succeeds.

2. You must win to move on.  In leadership and in life, success almost always precedes progress. Not success in the way of money or fame. Success in the way of a job well done, giving absolutely everything that you have to something from beginning to end and having it recognized by the outcome. My old basketball coach used to say this to me every time I would throw the ball up at the net without focusing - COME ON CHRISTIE, SHOOT TO SCORE! The same thing goes in life - everything you do, do it to do it right and to the best of your ability... the wins will follow.

3. You must lose with grace. Ever noticed that at the end of the game, the cameras are never zeroed-in on the team that won? They almost always pan across the bench of the losers, hiding their tears under sweaty towels, lying on the ground and pulling their hair, or having a terrible-twos type of tantrum somewhere in the stadium. Always remember that when you lose, all eyes are on YOU. Losing with dignity goes much further than winning with dignity, especially later on when the dust has settled. People won't remember the score, but they WILL remember the idiot who threw 3 chairs into the audience (thank you, YouTube) because he missed his last few free throws.

4. If you lose, you're done. Now, I recognize that it's essential to "learn from failure", but let's look at each March Madness game as a year in the life of a leader (since the tournament is a condensed version of life...right?). I'm all for learning from your mistakes, but every failure has an expiration date. You only have  a finite amount of time to learn from whatever mistake it is that you've made and FIX IT. Much like a time-out in a March Madness game: teams focus on what's going wrong and then come back on the court ready to make it better.

5. And last, but certainly not least... Play your heart out, ALL THE WAY UNTIL THE END. We have all seen countless games decided in the last split-seconds of play. It aint over till it's over. Always remember to give everything you've got until the very last buzzer sounds and the whistle blows. Those dying moments expose true grit, true character, and true heart.

Remember, anything can happen in March Madness and in life. The way you sway the odds in your favour is through being prepared, working hard to succeed, losing with grace, learning from your mistakes (quickly!), and giving everything that you've got, right until the end.

So, I'll leave you with this: In this game that we call leadership and life, are you winning (please don't think about Charlie Sheen when I say that)? Or losing? If you feel like you're losing, take a time-out and figure out what you can do to make sure that the outcome is in your favour by the time the buzzer goes.

GO BLUE DEVILS.

Ignite Waterloo: losing control to gain control?

On Tuesday, I participated in an event called Ignite Waterloo, where you have to do a 5 minute speech that involves 20 slides timed for exactly 15 seconds each ... that you can't control.

At the beginning, when I was accepted to speak, I thought that my only problem would be figuring out how to speak for ONLY 5 minutes ... as we all know, I have trouble shutting up at the best of times. But, as I began preparing my speech about childhood wisdom, I realized that the problem wasn't what to say, when to say it or how to say it ... the problem was that I COULDN'T CLICK THE SLIDES MYSELF. It drove me absolutely bananas.

Then, it hit me ... I have serious control issues, that I will blame/thank(?) my father for. For example, during a massage (which, in theory, should be relaxing), my RMT said to me, "You know that you resist me a lot, right? Could you maybe just try to relax?"... then I heard the flush of my $90 going down the toilet. I can't even give control over my back muscles to a REGISTERED PROFESSIONAL for a mere 60 minutes. As my Mom says, I am my father's daughter (context: my Dad doesn't let any of us hold our passports when we go on vacation. My brother is 27 and I am 24 and my mother is well, a mother ... starting to make sense now? Thought so.).

I digress, in a lot of leadership situations, the need for control is an asset. But, as I learned over my past few weeks of presentation prep-induced anxiety, in some situations it can be a colossal hindrance.

So, this leads me to my revelation of the week. Having "control issues" is not a crutch to lean on. It is something that we can use to our advantage in order to regain control of an often overlooked area of leadership: ourselves. Sometimes, to regain control of ourselves as leaders we need to relinquish our control over everything else. As I worked on perfecting my speech to go along with timing that was out of my reach I realized that, without having control over the situation, the only person I could control was myself. Moreover, through relinquishing my situational stronghold, I had the ability to focus solely on my performance and be the best version of ME that I could be in that moment.

Talk about an A! HA!

So this week, my challenge is to relinquish your control and focus on yourself. Let someone else take the reins and see how you adapt. BUT please, don't go all "Jesus, take the wheel" on me ... I can assure you that Carrie Underwood is full of crap. Not only will you surprise yourself with your ability to - very agonizingly, in my case - relinquish control, but you will also surprise yourself with the things that you can learn along the way.

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu

P.S. If you want to see my speech ... here it is!

Sharing is caring: you are what you tweet

For those of you who know me, you won't often see me updating my Facebook status to something laden with sarcasm and political opinions. Well, maybe the sarcasm part. But, I don't really fancy myself as someone who is a politics-buff in any way shape or form.

THAT being said, I do want to comment on what's been going on these past few weeks ... not regarding politics themselves, but mainly about my news feed and Twitter feed. I would like to mention the amazing intellectual and analytical ability that my fellow facebookians/tweeps have. It is truly incredible. Yes, my friends are all geniuses. But seriously, we need to give our generation some credit for being well-informed and actually INTERESTED in what is going on in this world ... I love it. So today, let's think about how we can use this potential to make change and create something meaningful that is bigger than just our social media musings.

Therefore, without further ado, I have come up with a few status updates of my own in response to what has been has been going on with the Presidential debates, as well as Dalton's abrupt resignation.

"Dear Generation,

Hey, it's me ... just wanted to say that you are incredibly eloquent when you put your mind to it. So, I say we focus on communicating with each other in the same intelligent way that we communicate our thoughts and jokes about how Mitt Romney's first name is Mitt. Let's avoid using the power of the internet for bullying and degrading ourselves willingly via photos, self-deprecating jabs and inappropriate comments. Instead, let's prove to everyone else that we, the soon-to-be leaders of this world, have valuable, relevant things to say that worth listening to.

Sincerely,
Let's make Ms Frizzle Proud"

"Talking about the #liberalparty with my intelligent peers! Our valid opinions will be sent to a local party representative repeatedly until we receive a response #takingaction"

We, as a generation, have an incredible amount of power. We have access to the entire world at the drop of a tweet. We can access news and information in such real-time that we know what's happening before the news stations do. Back in the day, when somebody wanted to send a message to thousands of people to get them behind a movement or a cause, they had to WALK and knock on doors to do so. We can now reach thousands in mere seconds through 140 characters and a catchy hashtag.

So today, I want us to think about the power that we have at our fingertips. Yes, continue sharing whatever you would like on FB and Twitter, I'll read it and I'll enjoy it. But also, share your passions, your aspirations and your desire for change. This is my call to action. We are all leaders merely because we have instantaneous access to a massive audience at any time of the day ... let's start using this power for good, for change. We can and we should ... because if we don't, no one will.

In the wonderful words of Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

The Theories Series Vol 2: Doing dishes with the Leadership Challenge

Welcome back to the Theories Series (eries-eries-eries). Today we're going to tackle the Leadership Challenge, a 5-pronged leadership approach (the 5 practices of exemplary leadership) that is based on the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI). The LPI was compiled by this theory's creators, Kouzes and Posner, who surveyed a LOT of people and asked which were the top seven traits that they look for in a leader, admire in a leader, and ultimately, would follow a leader for.


Now, I could list these 5 practices, provide you with a powerpoint presentation and ask that you take notes and fill in the blanks ... but instead, like that awesome fourth grade supply teacher that let you watch Rudy for the whole class, I'm throwing out the lesson plan.

We are going to talk about dating. More specifically, about dating someone who is messy. Disclaimer: I am not a dating expert. Trust me. Please do not take any of this as dating advice.

Also, I apologize to the messy people out there but honestly ... why do you hate doing dishes so much?

I digress, today we are going to discuss how to get your counterpart to do the dishes ... inception style.

Step 1: LOVE doing the dishes. Now, this may seem counter-intuitive, but the most important first step in getting down to the dream within a dream within a dream within a dream level is to Model the way. You need to do the hell out of those dishes. If you want your significant oth to do them right after dinner, do them right after dinner ... dance around, splash bubbles, make it like a Christina Aguilera video if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to show that you love doing the dishes (almost) more than you love your partner.

Step 2: Share the possibility of one day, living in a filth-free house ... say things like, "That's the world that, some day, we can live in." This step is called Inspire a shared vision. Now that you have shown how wonderful it is to do the dishes, you must share your vision and reasoning behind this love of an empty sink. The most important part of this step is to share the "whys" ... your dish-dirtying partner must understand WHY we should do the dishes soon after they are soiled, and it's got to mean something to them. For example, if they hate getting sick, explain why leaving crusty food in the sink spreads bacteria and makes us sick.

Step 3: This step is the trickiest. In this step, you need to give up some of your power ... don't worry, we can do this together, I have control issues and this step is very difficult for me too. You must Challenge the process. Ask your partner (nicely) if they have any suggestions about how to improve the dish-doing process... "Heyyy love-bug, do you think there's a way that we can do the dishes more efficiently? I would love to hear your suggestions... did I mention that your face is perfect and you smell like rain?" Try new things, don't be afraid to fail and always, always try them together.

Step 4:  Trying it as a team is the first stage of this next step ... Enable others to act. You must understand that, as a seasoned veteran of the dish-cleaning consortium, you are extremely good at it. Your partner may not be able to make doing the dishes look like an episode of 24 in fast-forward. Try doing the dishes together, teach them ways to do them more quickly, and then empower them to do dishes on their own. Build your partner's confidence, congratulate then when it's done well... challenge them! "Poo bear, why don't you hop up and do the dishes during this commercial break of 24? Wow, you totally look like a hotter version Jack Bauer up there at the sink!" etc. etc.

Step 5: This is the last and final step ... and arguably the most crucial one if you really want to bury the dish-doing desire in the deepest stores of your partner's dreams: Encourage the heart. Be sincere and caring (I'm sure you always are, so this is just a gentle reminder). Hide your filthy-sink frustrations and encourage them. Celebrate their successes and value their contributions to your vision of a world with clean, sparkling dishes drying on the dish rack.

So, there it is ... 5 steps to a dirty-dish-free kitchen, and the specifics of the Leadership Challenge theory. This belongs on Pinterest in the DIY section.

And, to change things up a bit ... hah ... here's a quote from the Leadership Challenge book (read it if you get a chance!),

“Leadership is a relationship between those who aspire *you* and those who choose to follow *your partner*… A leader-constituent relationship that’s characterized by fear and distrust will never, ever produce anything of lasting value. A relationship characterized by mutual respect and confidence will overcome the greatest adversities and leave a legacy [of clean dishes].” - The Leadership Challenge

Frustration, technology and how to have a good bad week

Although I am often nauseatingly positive, today I'm going over to the dark side ... to talk about frustration, how much I HATE technology sometimes (most of the time) and how to turn a week that makes you want to punch a baby into a week that makes you want to open a daycare for newborns.

My week began like any other ... slow to start Monday morning, sped up a bit by the afternoon, and by the evening I was ready to sprint through to Friday. Yikes, I would come in dead last at the Olympics. Nonetheless, everything was moving well until I came face to face with a big, bulky, obnoxious adversary ... our office printer. I shall call him Chad Kroeger. After three long hours and a LOT of crumpled up paper and self-worth in the recycling bin, I gave up and let him win.

Now, I can hear the #firstworldproblems tweets whizzing out of your smartphones as we speak. I know, this is not a big problem. But, when your week is starting off like a productive run around the track, obstacles like these have the ability to trip you and completely throw you off ... especially when they include the lead singer of Nickelback's robotic alter ego.

So, how do we get up and get back in the race? Well, here are a few tips from a girl who is still standing and was able to silence the noise coming from that awful excuse for an artist ...

1. Walk away. Avoid going all Office Space on him, channel your inner Kelly Clarkson and WALK AWAY.
2. Do something else. Preferably, far away from technology. For example, make some tea, chat with a few colleagues about Monday's episode of Bachelor Pad and try not to look directly at Chad ... your eyes may start bleeding.
3. Set something up to look forward to. For example, plan to work from home on Friday, far away from Kroegs and in the comfort of your sanctuary.

My Friday home office

4. Do something with your anger. Channel your inner frustration and turn it into action. My personal favourite is going for an angry run. What the hell is an angry run?... you might ask. Well, in it's simplest form, it is a jog. But the trick with an angry run is that you have to spend the whole time thinking about how pissed off you are and HOLY CRAP, do you ever fly.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, win. No matter what it is that is frustrating you, it is essential that you get closure and chalk it up as a win. Now, I'm not saying if a colleague is being frustrating that you should go all Biggie vs. 2Pac on them and have a showdown in the office. In this context, a "win" constitutes anything that will calm your nerves and allow you to move forward. If it's a conflict with a colleague, invite them out for a coffee and have a good chat (unless your colleague is actually Chad Kroeger). If it's a printer, ask for help, laugh it off and try to learn something valuable.

Every once in a while, you're going to have a week that feels like a  never-ending Nickelback concert. When you do, remember that you are human and it is okay ... but also remember that you can turn it around if you put your mind to it. Take the time to understand what is making your week so horrible and work to change it. Be intentional. Find the tricks that work for you and stay focused ... you'll be amazed at how much it helps.

"In every difficult situation there is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it." - Norman Vincent Peale

What-Q?: The meaning of "smart"

I have come to terms (begrudgingly) with the following statements: Gone are the days of Yo Mama jokes. Gone are the days of Yak Baks. Gone are the days of Nano Pets and Tamagotchis... but I can honestly say that I never thought I would have to come to terms with: "Gone are the days of IQ".

But it's happening. As hard as it was to stop singing "colours of the world, spice up yo life!!" into my Yak Bak, it is going to be even harder for all of us to wrap our heads around the fact that the concept of being "smart" is changing and increasing in complexity.

When we were young, being smart was synonymous with the dorkus at the front of the class wearing flood pants and a science camp t-shirt (I can say this because I WAS THAT DORKUS). But, now that we are growing and becoming aware of the world outside of sweaty portables, being smart means so much more. This can be daunting and even a little unsettling, but I like to see it as a wonderful opportunity. Since the definition of intelligence is evolving, it is becoming more accessible to everyone ... especially leaders.

Every day, every moment, every interaction provides us with an opportunity to grow our leadership intelligence. What is leadership intelligence? You might ask ... Well, I promise it won't be as confusing as trying to get your Tamagotchi to shut up at 3am. To me, leadership intelligence definitely involves the new traits like emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) and cultural intelligence (CQ), but it also involves a LOT more...

It's our ability to act professionally at the office but still have (responsible) fun outside of the office. It's our ability to manage our own personal health and wellness - mentally, physically, emotionally and socially. It's our ability to be kind and compassionate. It's love. It's sharing. It's admitting our faults and celebrating our successes. It's being accepting and open-minded. It's trying new things and taking risks. It's play. It's hard work. It's dedication. It's doing something out of the goodness of your heart, just to see a smile on someone else's face. It's please. It's thank you. It's big bear hugs that have the power to change your day in one fleeting moment. It's high fives. It's sending an email to someone just to tell them that you think they're doing a great job... I could go on for days...

If I can sum it up in one phrase for you ... Leadership Intelligence is founded by awareness, and built through acting on that awareness in order to make the world around you a better place. 

As we redefine the concept of intelligence, we open a world of possibilities for our leadership and our ability to make change. If we all pledged to get a little bit "smarter" every day ... I truly believe that we could make this world a better place.

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela