Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Changes: Finding stability in unstable times.

As some of you may know, I'm starting a very new challenge/journey in the next few weeks. I'll be leaving my job, leaving the place that I've called home for 8 years, moving to a place that I've never called home, and going to a school where I know nobody. Typing that sentence felt a lot like repeatedly hitting the proverbial panic button... my heart is racing.

So, why the heck am I doing this to myself? I'm not sure. But part of me does believe that there is something beautiful to be discovered under this mound of uncertainty, change and challenge.

Today I want to talk about finding that beauty in the chaos that is change. It's not easy... my goodness it's not easy. During bouts of uncertainty, every sun that rises feels like just another fiery ball that you have to juggle. They say time heals everything ... but when everything is coming at you a mile a minute, time does the exact opposite. 

How do we freeze time? Well, unless we're Jesse Bradford in Clockstoppers, we can't. Instead, the best that we can do is slow down, adapt and enjoy the ride. Easier said than done, right?

So here are a few ways that I've started to find stability in the fun house that is my life right now.

1) Spending time alone. As the most extroverted extrovert in the tri-city area, this is very difficult for me. But more and more, I'm realizing that the moments I get to spend alone provide me with the time and space to actually THINK about what's going on in my life and what I have to be thankful for.

2) Fully experiencing my emotions. This is one that I learned from Tuesdays with Morrie (seriously guys, read it): “If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely.” Yeah, what he said. If you feel scared, FEEL IT. If you feel worried, FEEL IT. And always give yourself the time and space to do so (see #1).

3) Lastly, revelling in the little moments. For me, this one is massive. I'm not only leaving a city, but I'm leaving a community, a comfort, people that I love. Now, I'm not going to Mars and I know that I'll be back, but there is something so unsettling about going to a place where if I have an emergency, I have no one to call. So I've been taking time to revel in every little moment ... running into old friends at Starbucks, enjoying a glass (or several glasses) of wine with good friends ... all of those familiar experiences that I take for granted and have taken for granted all of these years.

As the days pass and I near my inevitable big bang of chaos and uncertainty, these are the things that keep me moving, adapting and preparing for the challenges that lie ahead. Chaos is all around us, why not embrace it?

And when in doubt, "I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life." - Tuesdays with Morrie